Web of Nirmal Almara

Death is Beautiful!

It must be. If someone is close to you and that person dies - you can intensely feel that how life is so fragile.

It can make you vulnerable which is a good thing, you get to see that you are not strong as you think you are and you need other people to help you on the course.

My Grandpa passed away on Jan 26th, 2020 when he was 83 years old. It was not a natural death, he hanged himself. There are many things that might made him to go this way. One of it, which I can say for sure is that his mental illness which is heriditary from my paternal side. My aunt commited suicide at 25 and now my dear grandfather.

From my understanding, mental illness though hereditary can differ from person to person. I know my Grandpa was suffering from depression in his late years but I can say that he also was delusionally paranoid. He often talks about that my grandmother was poisoning him with food and many others were acting against him. And the last week before his death he also talked about depression which I didn't take it seriously though he attempted suicide once before and somehow we could be able to save him at that time.

Now my Father has stage-4 prostate cancer. We went to the nearby city couple months ago and one hospital just put their hands off that they can't treat as the illness is severe. Luckily we found another hospital in the same city and the oncologists there is treating him. Now he is doing Chemo therapy and I can say that he is doing fine now.

I'm not trying to self-pity myself, but I'm trying to say - these happenings had made me become a better person and see life in a different perspective. I could see, that there is ultimately nothing to do in life. Maybe we could use this time to spend with our loved ones more or even go deeper and find one's own true or self nature.

Me usually being a hustler, these events had made me cultivate some patience. Which I think is very important, I would always say patience is more powerful than perseverance. You can only go so far if you swim against the flow of the river. But if we accept that how life is and if we just go the way the river flows, we find solace in our lives.

Saying these, I could come to the point that death of someone whom you are so close with, could be a beginning to your life.